Changing my mind about networking

After a networking event recently, I received a phone call and an email from an attendee I didn't know who was pushing to sell me something. He hadn't even bothered to take five minutes to introduce himself at the event but he thought just because he had my card and we were at the same event that I would want to do business with him.

For a long time I bought into the common "wisdom" that the best place to network is a room full of people you don't know. If you walked into a room of people you knew, it was assumed that was a dry well for networking.

After being in business for myself for awhile, I've now come to believe this philosophy is part of the business-card collecting syndrome. I've been a victim of this syndrome myself and have piles of cards of people I met at networking events once and remember nothing about them.

But I've come to realize that in any business, people want to deal with someone they trust. So if they are going to refer you for a job, give you business, give you contact information for a high-placed friend, they need to feel comfortable with your abilities, integrity, and character. Maybe that will happen when you first meet, maybe not.

If you show up at a networking event one time, pass out business cards and maybe make a few appointments for coffee, but never show up again, what does that say about you? Your potential leads will wonder if you really are that interested in them or if you're even still in business or on the market. That is, if they think of you at all.

After attending a variety of networking events, I've come to realize that it usually takes attending three or more of each group before I start to make contacts that turn into business or job leads. Perhaps it's because I get more comfortable at the event over time. Perhaps it's because those who show up start to get more comfortable with me as they see me more often. For whatever reason, I've learned not to give up but to keep going.

It's a truism of sales that people are buying you, not your product or service. This goes for those of you looking for jobs as well -- they are hiring you, not your skillset.

Now I go to networking events and concentrate on meeting a couple of people that I can have a long conversation with and ask out for coffee later or follow up with in another way. Their business cards get special attention. I still meet as many people as I can. I organize the rest of the business cards by event and make any notes about any conversation so that the next time I go and see them again I will recognize them. Then maybe I will build relationships with them and develop the trust that will make us happy to do business together.